How to Transfer Someone

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Title : How to Transfer Someone
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Like to fantasize? Don't worry because in truth, fantasizing is a normal and healthy way to explore your sexual life and allow you to imagine things without limits in the form of rules and consequences! Some people often feel guilty after fantasizing; there are also people who feel the fantasy world is less "rich" and tempting so it feels boring. Even so, everyone is legitimate to fantasize! After all, all fantasy is classified as healthy as long as no party is harmed by it.

Step

Self-comfort

  1. Remember, fantasizing is not the same as actually acting. Does fantasizing other women besides couples indicate your desire to cheat? Does fantasizing someone of the same sex as you indicate a tendency for homosexuality? Not necessarily like that! [1] Imagining something is not the same as actually doing it. In many cases, you don't even want to do it in the real world.[2]
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    • Fantasizing about a friend's girlfriend does not necessarily make you betray a friend! However, most likely the fantasy indicates that you really want to date your best friend's girlfriend. At the very least, allowing yourself to fantasize will prevent you from actually taking it from the hands of your best friend in real life.
    • Fantasy activities are fun because you have the freedom to do everything you might not be able to do in the real world. Don't be afraid to imagine scenarios that sound "crazy" and fantastic like flying through the seventh sky or making out with your lecturer.
  2. Understand that there is no true or false fantasy. Sometimes, the fantasy that appears feels so weird that it makes you feel guilty. In other fantasies, you may have done something bad to others or even become a victim of other people's negative actions. If the situation is like that, does that mean something is wrong with you? The answer is no.[3]
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    • Instead, focus on the impact of the fantasy. Do you feel stronger and in control afterwards? Or does the fantasy actually feel negative, compulsive, or annoying?
    • If what controls you is a second group of feelings, chances are that the fantasy has indicated a serious problem that needs to be addressed immediately.
  3. Remember, fantasizing is a healthy action. Fantasy can help clarify what you really want to achieve and improve in life. Believe me, everyone must have fantasized, either about delicious food or about a more romantic situation such as kissing the person they like. In fact, fantasy is a very natural part of the human brain filled with curiosity. In other words, you don't need to be ashamed of doing it.[4]
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    • Associate the fantasy with your real life. If you often fantasize yourself as a dominated person, chances are that you actually feel less in control in real life.[5]
    • Research shows that routinely pairing is effective in normalizing the function of sexuality and restoring one's desire for a partner.[6]

Learning to fantasize

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable place to relax. Make sure the place is really comfortable and free from interference so that your fantasizing process is not interrupted on the way! After finding it, take a deep breath slowly and try to sharpen your self-awareness.[7]
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    • To facilitate the visualization process, close your eyes.
    • If you want, you can try to dim the lights and turn on the music to relax yourself.
  2. Find situations that make you passionate. Have you never tried it? Try to start by thinking about times when you felt very excited. What are you currently doing? What makes you excited? If you have trouble doing it, there's no harm in exploring a variety of common scenarios and letting your mind move indefinitely.
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    • Imagine different settings. Try to imagine yourself on the beach or a small cabin near a fire. Imagine yourself being in an office, supermarket, or even a very luxurious hotel room. Because fantasizing has no consequences, there is absolutely nothing that forbids your shadow to travel in all directions.[8]
    • Think about your past experiences and try to develop them. In other words, you can exaggerate the experience, clarify it, or repeat it over and over in your mind.[9]
  3. Involve the person you want to fantasize. After finding a situation that makes you excited and passionate, try to involve others to live the situation with you. Let scene after scene flow in your mind like a movie that you direct and starring yourself.
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    • Try to imagine a scenario when you and the person must be separated from others. For example, you are both trapped in a cabin and unable to get out because of snow, or both of you are locked in the office photocopy room.
    • Fantasy everything you want to do with that person. Remember, you have complete control over the fantasy! If at one point you begin to feel less comfortable, don't hesitate to stop or change the situation.
  4. Take advantage of all senses. In fact, the passion that arises within you is not only stimulated by visual appearance. When you are fantasizing someone, try to share your voice, aroma, and feelings when touching it or touching it.[10]
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    • To enrich your fantasy, also imagine the various details that surround you. Are you both on the beach? If so, what is the sensation of beach sand touching your skin? How about the sound of the waves crashing against the reef?

Identifying Problems That Arise Due to Fantasy

  1. Beware if you begin to forget reality. Start feeling difficult to distinguish fantasy and real world? If so, that means you need to stop fantasizing and immediately consult the issue with mental health experts. The advantage of fantasizing is that there are no rules or consequences that will befall you; however, this is not the case in the real world. Practicing your fantasies to others, especially if done without the person's consent, can make you seriously affected.
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    • If the boundaries of both of them start to fade, and if you start to want to practice things that are not feasible in the real world, it means that your fantasies are getting out of control and out of bounds.
    • If the fantasy world starts to interfere with your real life, it means that these activities are no longer healthy to do. Try to consult a special therapist or professional mental health expert.
  2. Stop if fantasizing activities begin to grow obsessive or compulsive in you. If you currently have a partner but still often fantasize others, there's really nothing to worry about. However, if you constantly imagine yourself having an intimate relationship with that figure, especially when you are with a partner, it means that fantasizing activities have transformed into your self-defense mechanism to "escape" from life and real problems.[11]
    Fantasize About Someone Step 9.jpg
    • If the situation is right, try to stop fantasizing. Although difficult and painful, forget your fantasies and start evaluating your relationship and your partner more deeply. Are you feeling bored or angry at the relationship? Is fantasizing other people a form of your resistance to intimacy with your partner?[12]
    • Indeed, using fantasy to protect yourself from something is not entirely wrong. However, you will not find a real solution after that. In other words, your romantic relationship will not be saved if you are not willing to evaluate the issues in it honestly.
  3. Beware if the body starts to do the dissociation mechanism. When dissociating, your body and mind will feel disconnected from the situation. For example, a survivor of trauma often feels "out" of his body and witnesses events occur to him from a third person's perspective. Supposedly, a healthy fantasy will actually make you feel more connected to your partner. In addition, your sexual relationship is even more rich because of it.[13] If fantasizing actually makes you feel "far" or not connected with the situation around you, consult a sexual therapist immediately.
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